I was told in an urgent tone of voice that they needed me right away. I wasn’t sure what was up. There was a woman who was upset. They could not seem to calm her down. Could I come over?
I went not knowing what the situation was. And there she sat. Face red. Tears streaming down her face. Her long hair slightly disheveled. She had kept herself up well over the years. She had a look of desperation in her eyes. I suggested that maybe she’d like to come to my office.
The Church Lady intercepted me and suggested that she would take her to my office, and then one of the people who had initially been talking to her whispered, "She may be suicidal."
I arrived and took off my glasses. I asked her, "How can I help? What’s going on?"
"What does Jesus want me to do? Just tell me. Just tell me what to do . . ."
I thought, Ohhhhhh K . . . Ummm . . . yeah. What does Jesus want you to do? Doesn’t everyone want to know that? I said, "Tell me more of your story. What is upsetting you? Why are you so distraught?"
The look of desperation was more intense in her eyes and body affect, "What does Jesus want me to do? I love Jesus. I read the Bible every day . . . "
I felt so sorry for her. It was obvious that she was at her wit’s end. She had sort of snapped. I was trying to eke out clues. What was eating at her?
With several more exchanges I began to understand it was marital difficulties, and her husband was using one small part wrenched out of context from Paul about wives submitting to their husbands . . . you know, Ephesians 5:22-24.
I began to understand that her husband would get upset and then give her the silent treatment. And then she would commence asking for his forgiveness, that she was so sorry for what she had done. "But Pastor, what does Jesus want me to do? Where can I find some Scripture?"
One that immediately popped out to me was "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Do you remember that Jesus said that?
Yes, she remembered. I said, "Good. Hold on to that for a moment. When you start apologizing to your husband for what you did, what is it that you did that caused him to be so hateful to you?"
She said, "Nothing. I try to be the best wife I know how to be," and the tears were coming on even stronger. "What does Jesus want me to do?"
I said, "The first thing that Jesus wants you to do is to stop lying to your husband."
That got her attention. The faucet began to be turned off. "I am not lying to my husband. What do you mean?"
"When you start apologizing for something you have never done, you are lying to him, aren’t you? You are apologizing for something you have never done or said, with your words, you are asking him to buy into a reality that never occurred, isn’t that right?"
She got silent. Yes, it was right.
"Why would you lie to your husband like that, when you know that Jesus said that the truth will make you free?"
The tears were gone. I asked, do you have any siblings?
Yes, she did.
I said, "Are you the youngest?"
Yes, she was.
It was time to help her learn better coping mechanisms.
The rest of the time was spent helping her to some degree get loose from her anxieties about her relationship to her husband.
